Dating love ltr

Aug Online dating is designed to cut directly to the chase —supply us with the most scientifically matched prospects to multiply our chances for a mutually fulfilling LTR.

But multiplying the prospects also exponentially increases the chance for unrequited romance—rejection by people who we would never even have met, let alone reject us, except through online dating. I am one who has languished, burned, and yearned for a potential mate who refused to live up to the magic algorithms that chose him. Some will even consider it to have a happy ending—at least Jonathan did get to be with his One True Love, if only for twenty-four hours. Jonathan and Rebecca are baboons.

They played out their romantic drama while observed by the ineffable Professor Robert Sapolsky. While rolling my eyes at all this self-created masculine angst, I had to think of the four years four! I spent longing for a relationship with a confusing and inconstant former lover, based on an illusion of what that relationship would be like, if only, if only….

So, why do we do it? Especially those of us who are mature enough to realize that we do not have unlimited time in this life—for romance, chasing shadows, or anything else. Enter Professor Robert C. He has spent a lifetime studying baboons and neurobiology, and extrapolating his findings to human behavior. Real masters make their work look easy, and Professor S. If you want to hear a very serious lecture on depression that is consistently entertaining, check it out on You Tube.

Dopamine is the chemical released in the brain by cocaine, among other substances and activities. It is the highest form of pleasure, and we mammals will do almost anything for a dopamine surge. Researchers believed quite logically that their experimental animals, as well as humans , would experience dopamine surges when they received the reward they anticipated. Sapolsky describes the discovery that what really rings our bells —mice, monkeys, men, women—is anticipation.

Rebecca intermittently rewarded Jonathan—she occasionally let him groom her while she was busy thinking not of him, but of the really hot baboons. Like my simian fellow sufferer, I responded with alacrity to the intermittent signs of encouragement that I perceived.

If gamblers just wanted the reward—money—they would stop the instant they won. Looking back on my years as a lovelorn upright ape, I now see how tantalizing the hints were of a potential happy ending with a confused individual who was covering all his bases.

I have learned that internet dating is only good as a medium to meet someone quickly, if there is any attraction at all. Thank you, Dorothy, for a wonderfully written and accurate description of unrequited internet love.


Gay Dating in the US. In many practical ways, gay dating in the US this year is the easiest it’s ever been. All across the country, and particularly in big cities like New York, San Francisco and Washington DC, gay men, lesbian women, and LGBT singles are finding love and settling down together. Yet, easier overall doesn’t always mean easier on an individual level. It always depends on the person and the mood. I think every first date should be different and that is why I try to get to someting about the persons interest so I can plan something that will be .

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